The Wisdom That Ended My Inner Arguments

 

We were seated in a quiet corner after a long day, him my mentor, calm as ever; me, full of questions I thought were profound. I asked him something about decisions, critics, and the endless back-and-forth of ideas. He smiled and said, without a trace of drama:

“Don’t try to convince anyone.
And don’t get convinced by anyone.
What remains is the work.
And the work will have the least conflict.”

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Because something inside me had stilled.

All my life, I’ve tried to explain myself why I chose a certain path. Why I walked away. Why I said no. Why I stayed up all night building something I wasn’t even sure anyone would notice.

And equally at times, I’ve let myself be swayed. By louder voices. By confident jargon. By charming certainty dressed up as advice.
Each time, a part of me got lost in the argument.

That one line from him, spoken like a whisper through the noise, unlocked something.

It wasn’t saying, avoid people. Or ignore feedback.
It wasn’t saying, be arrogant or rigid.

And it definitely wasn’t saying avoid conflict.

No. Some conflicts are essential, make-or-break ones where our values, integrity, or mission is at stake. When it’s a question of right or wrong, silence is surrender.

But most of the time?

We’re arguing in the shallows while the deep work waits.
We’re explaining what we should simply demonstrate.
We’re debating things our actions could’ve settled quietly.

Since that day, I’ve tried something new.

I no longer try to convince.
I no longer rush to be convinced.
I am trying to work, with sincerity, with consistency.

Because the work…
It speaks after the applause dies.
It remains after the debates fade.
It stands even if no one claps.

Maybe you're in that place right now. Caught in a loop of explanation. Justifying your dreams. Trying to win someone over.
Or trying hard not to lose yourself in someone else's version of clarity.

If you are, I offer this, not as advice. But as something that helped me breathe easier:

Don't try to convince anyone.
Don't get convinced by anyone.
Do the work. Let it remain.

Because what remains… is always the work.